for the record penguin

for the record penguin - THE REAL USA MILITARY RANKING SYSTEM. IN THE FEEL GOOD MILITARY ACCORDING TO THE JOINT CHIEFS OF STAFF. EVERYTHING REAL PEOPLE ACCOMPLISH IS BLACK OPS. ENLISTED: E-1SCUMBAG E-2APPRENTICE SCUMBAG E-3ORC CAPABILITIES IDENTIFIED E-4MAKE OR BREAK RANK E-5PROVE SUAVENESS E-6PROVE LEADERSHIP AWARENESS E-7POLITICAN POTENTIAL AND HARDASS ANALYSIS E-8SETS AGENDA E-9POLITICAL MUPPET OR DIE  UNTRAINED OFFICERS: ADM Socially Awkward Penguin

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Purposefully sit next to cute girl in class Don't say a word to her all semester

Purposefully sit next to cute girl in class Don't say a word to her all semester

left alone with friend of a friend Pretend to text until friend gets back

left alone with friend of a friend Pretend to text until friend gets back

Over hear someone say your name heart starts pumping violently

Over hear someone say your name heart starts pumping violently

left alone with friend of a friend talk about friend until they get back

left alone with friend of a friend talk about friend until they get back

cute girl sits next to you on plane don't say a word the whole flight

cute girl sits next to you on plane don't say a word the whole flight

Of legal age to buy alcohol still acts suspicious when giving cashier id

Of legal age to buy alcohol still acts suspicious when giving cashier id

Positive you know someone's name Still scared to death of using it in case you are wrong

Positive you know someone's name Still scared to death of using it in case you are wrong

Black lady at drive-thru says "Nice color" about my car. "Thanks, you too."

Black lady at drive-thru says

Arrives Early to a house party Sits in car until someone else goes in

Arrives Early to a house party Sits in car until someone else goes in

sitting in awkward silence with a girl says 'awkward' to break the ice

sitting in awkward silence with a girl says 'awkward' to break the ice
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