for the record penguin

for the record penguin - THE REAL USA MILITARY RANKING SYSTEM. IN THE FEEL GOOD MILITARY ACCORDING TO THE JOINT CHIEFS OF STAFF. EVERYTHING REAL PEOPLE ACCOMPLISH IS BLACK OPS. ENLISTED: E-1SCUMBAG E-2APPRENTICE SCUMBAG E-3ORC CAPABILITIES IDENTIFIED E-4MAKE OR BREAK RANK E-5PROVE SUAVENESS E-6PROVE LEADERSHIP AWARENESS E-7POLITICAN POTENTIAL AND HARDASS ANALYSIS E-8SETS AGENDA E-9POLITICAL MUPPET OR DIE  UNTRAINED OFFICERS: ADM Socially Awkward Penguin

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receives friend request while already on facebook waits five minutes before accepting

receives friend request while already on facebook waits five minutes before accepting

"well that was awkward" everything gets more awkward

Fourth time introduced to someone "Nice to meet you"

Fourth time introduced to someone

Confesses to crush of 3 years "Haha you're joking, right?

Confesses to crush of 3 years

GETS OFF PHONE WITH GIRL REPLAYS EVERY WORD IN HEAD AND REGRETS THEM ALL

GETS OFF PHONE WITH GIRL REPLAYS EVERY WORD IN HEAD AND REGRETS THEM ALL

See funny post on facebook Don't hit like because they'd think you're a stalker

See funny post on facebook Don't hit like because they'd think you're a stalker

already used "haha" at beginning of text message use "lol" at the end

already used

Waiting for the bus at a busy station pretends to text so no one will bother him

Waiting for the bus at a busy station pretends to text so no one will bother him

Tells people has plans for the night spends rest of night at home with lights off

Tells people has plans for the night spends rest of night at home with lights off

girl sets her foot on top of yours don't move it for the rest of the meal so she thinks it's the table leg

girl sets her foot on top of yours don't move it for the rest of the meal so she thinks it's the table leg
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