9254 shares
Crossing a one-way street Looks both ways
174,417 shares
Hits snooze on on the alarm clock Spends the next 9 minutes wide awake worrying it accidently turned off
192,256 shares
farts in public when it's cold out checks ass to see if steam came out
169,659 shares
Read about diseases with one in a million prevalence Convinced I have at least six of them
106,457 shares
Slight chest discomfort Better write my will
105,361 shares
3+5? Better use calculator
138,160 shares
Game Auto-Saves Better save it manually just to be sure
434,609 shares
in a room full of people and I need to clear my throat better hold it, or they'll think I have something to say
126,615 shares
Effective 99.9% of the time? I don't like those odds
379,210 shares
Thinks something insulting about a stranger Immediately thinks nice things in case they can read minds
252,668 shares
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