1st world whores

1st world whores - I WISH I COULD BE VAIN, DRESS NICE, HAVE AN ATTITUDE, TAKE SELFIES, AND DO ALL THIS OTHER STUPID SHIT PETTY GIRLS DO TODAY. BUT THE OPPOSITE SEX KEEPS CHECKING ME OUT AND TRYING TO DATE ME LIKE HOW MANY MALE ANIMALS DO SO IN NATURE. First World Problems

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I had to listen to my friends uninteresting story so i could tell him mine

I had to listen to my friends uninteresting story  so i could tell him mine

I really need to change shirts. But i don't want to take my iPod headphones out.

I really need to change shirts. But i don't want to take my iPod headphones out.

My friend called shotgun before I did

My friend called shotgun before I did

i can never pay attention when i watch movies because i'm always on the internet

i can never pay attention when i watch movies because i'm always on the internet

Carefully Open Cereal Bag Tore a huge opening down the side

Carefully Open Cereal Bag Tore a huge opening down the side

House is too big Wi-fi doesn't reach every room

House is too big Wi-fi doesn't reach every room

I'm the only one of my friends Who doesn't have a smartphone

I'm the only one of my friends Who doesn't have a smartphone

Made a witty status on facebook Mother commented on it first

Made a witty status on facebook Mother commented on it first

Took the biggest shit of my life stupid automatic toilet flushed it before i could take a look

Took the biggest shit of my life stupid automatic toilet flushed it before i could take a look

I don't enjoy watching this tv show any more but i'm too invested to stop

I don't enjoy watching this tv show any more but i'm too invested to stop
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