9200 shares
Your steak is too bloody? Give it one of your tampons
296,204 shares
Pour me a glass of whiskey, son i have to take me heart medication.
222,191 shares
The reason I only had one heart attack Was because my heart wasn't such a dumbass to attack me twice
549,972 shares
Im allergic to whiskey It makes my knuckles bleed
362,875 shares
Your mom's out of town this week Today's meal shall be steak with a side of shut the fuck up
208,404 shares
i see you shaved i'm sorry the weight of being a man was too much for you
204,684 shares
It took you 2 trips to take out the garbage? Was your tampon weighing you down?
405,614 shares
tumblr? last time i tumbled was over a pile of bodies in korea
267,960 shares
shot glasses? you mean sippy cups?
277,550 shares
Why do i need to know how to sew? My cuts don't stitch themselves
117,392 shares
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