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Roses are red, I'm having a baby. Marry me now, or I'll say that you raped me.
460,556 shares
Is it nice touching what your child will one day drink milk from?
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I save all your voicemails and listen to them every morning
47,448 shares
When I die I want you to die too
194,728 shares
Told my girlfriend we could probably afford a vacation in about a year. Oh, you mean for our honeymoon?
50,615 shares
You should give me a picture of your younger self So i can tell people we have a child
314,181 shares
You say restraining order i say long distance relationship
483,611 shares
Sure you can have "boy's night out" 32 text messages, 45 missed calls, 18 voicemails
274,349 shares
I'm going to learn all your mom's favorite recipes So you'll never need her again
870,730 shares
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