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Couldn't find my car in the parking lot Because I couldn't remember which one I drove today.
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the 90 inch HD tv i've just bought won't fit in my porsche
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the channel i switch to during commercials is also showing commercials
435,349 shares
I dropped my Macbook On my other Macbook
623,929 shares
I went to the bathroom at work and forgot my phone at my desk
66,428 shares
my vibrator battery died now it's a dildo
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looking in the fridge "the fridge is too full of food to find what I'm looking for"
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Lost my job, got new job same day No time for vacation.
79,779 shares
i'm so hungry but i just brushed my teeth
51,733 shares
I want to take a yoga class but i cant trust my farts
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