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Couldn't find my car in the parking lot Because I couldn't remember which one I drove today.
90,620 shares
the 90 inch HD tv i've just bought won't fit in my porsche
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the channel i switch to during commercials is also showing commercials
435,342 shares
I dropped my Macbook On my other Macbook
623,915 shares
I went to the bathroom at work and forgot my phone at my desk
66,417 shares
my vibrator battery died now it's a dildo
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looking in the fridge "the fridge is too full of food to find what I'm looking for"
264,450 shares
Lost my job, got new job same day No time for vacation.
79,764 shares
i'm so hungry but i just brushed my teeth
51,724 shares
I want to take a yoga class but i cant trust my farts
197,917 shares
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