9181 shares
I found my dad's alter ego account on a message board I purposely troll him and then laugh after he calls me up to complain about the idiots he talks to online.
317,403 shares
When women complain about their exes i've never met i usually side with their exes
84,352 shares
I tell my girlfriend I make much lower than I actually do So I don't have to spend as much on her.
79,839 shares
The only reason I still use Facebook is so I can watch the people I hate become failures at life
183,266 shares
When Someone tells me she is a strong independent woman I actually think she's just very lonely
146,189 shares
I only want to take up running so I can eat more.
114,058 shares
I only open the passenger door for my girlfriend when I need to walk around the car to fart before I get in.
190,938 shares
When I have an argument with my girlfriend I tighten the top of every jar and bottle in the house
468,146 shares
I'm overly polite to people who work in fast food because I know their job is horrible
155,171 shares
I ACTUALLY ENJOY COOKING FOR MY HUSBAND BUT ACT LIKE IT'S A PAIN, SO HE FEELS GUILTY AND DOES MORE ERRANDS AROUND THE HOUSE
178,367 shares
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