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Roses are red, I'm having a baby. Marry me now, or I'll say that you raped me.
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Is it nice touching what your child will one day drink milk from?
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I save all your voicemails and listen to them every morning
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When I die I want you to die too
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Told my girlfriend we could probably afford a vacation in about a year. Oh, you mean for our honeymoon?
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You should give me a picture of your younger self So i can tell people we have a child
314,467 shares
You say restraining order i say long distance relationship
483,878 shares
Sure you can have "boy's night out" 32 text messages, 45 missed calls, 18 voicemails
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I'm going to learn all your mom's favorite recipes So you'll never need her again
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