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One does not simply Tell a female friend you like her

One does not simply Tell a female friend you like her Boromir
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248,937 shares

claims he has no money for the round he owes everyone Buys himself five shots of tequila

claims he has no money for the round he owes everyone Buys himself five shots of tequila Scumbag Steve
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336,499 shares

Not sure if dog is getting smarter Or too lazy to do anything stupid

Not sure if dog is getting smarter Or too lazy to do anything stupid Futurama Fry
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63,453 shares

Restaurant closes at 11:00 Walks in door at 10:59 and stays for 2 hours

Restaurant closes at 11:00 Walks in door at 10:59 and stays for 2 hours Scumbag Steve
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148,704 shares

Have a cookie, oh wait, you're allergic to gluten. Now just look at it and die a little on the inside.

Have a cookie, oh wait, you're allergic to gluten. Now just look at it and die a little on the inside. Scumbag Genetics
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36,934 shares

SURE!!! You can have facial hair YOU'RE A GIRL

SURE!!! You can have facial hair YOU'RE A GIRL Scumbag Genetics
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38,778 shares

Break into paranoid parrot's house twice a week move things around

Break into paranoid parrot's house twice a week move things around Evil Plotting Raccoon
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241,084 shares

Asks to see your phone Then shoves you in pool

Asks to see your phone Then shoves you in pool Good Guy Greg
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338,089 shares

since men think with their penis wouldnt a blowjob be mindblowing?

since men think with their penis wouldnt a blowjob be mindblowing? Philosoraptor
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116,461 shares

Gives you taste buds makes unhealthy food taste good and healthy food taste bad

Gives you taste buds makes unhealthy food taste good and healthy food taste bad Scumbag Genetics
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27,946 shares