I don't always get up at 6a.m

 BUT WHEN I DO, I STILL LOOK HANDSOME The Most Interesting Man In The World

I don't always get up this early

 BUT WHEN I DO .. I STILL LOOK GREAT The Most Interesting Man In The World

It's an even weirder name than Rocky

SYLVESTER STALLONE'S FIRST NAME IS SYLVESTER Sudden Clarity Clarence

THIRD WORLD TEACAKE KID

I JUST ESCAPED FROM A CHILD LABOR CAMP AND HAVEN'T EATEN IN 2 DAYS BUT PLEASE GO ON ABOUT HOW THEY CHANGED THE TUNNOCKS TEACAKE WRAPPERS THAT SHIT SOUNDS WAY WORSE Skeptical Third World Kid

I don't always say good morning

BUT I DO IF YOU'RE AS HANDSOME AS I AM  The Most Interesting Man In The World

Birthday Wish

I DONT ALWAYS POST HAPPY BIRTHDAY ON PEOPLE'S TIMELINES. BUT IT'S 2016, TIMIE FOR A CHANGE. SO HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULIE The Most Interesting Man In The World

Yep gotta love it

I DON'T ALWAYS WIN... BUT WHEN I DO IT'S TO KEEP THE JETS OUT OF THE PLAYOFFS The Most Interesting Man In The World

Jets lose

I DON'T ALWAYS WIN... BUT WHEN I DO IT'S TO KEEP THE JETS OUT OF THE PLAYOFFS The Most Interesting Man In The World

silly chinatown man

MURST'A BE TH SILLY CHINATOWN MAN OWN HOT N SPICY DUMPLING-STYL FART OR IM IS FRUSH YOU HAMSTER DOWN AGAIN High Expectations Asian Father

Wouldn't Kill You

WHAT IF I TOLD YOU.. IT WON'T KILL YOU TO FACT-CHECK YOUR POLITICAL MEME BEFORE POSTING IT TO FACEBOOK. Matrix Morpheus