if a guy says heres some candy go with him
Bored at the airport? Yell bomb!
RUNNING OUT OF CLEAN LAUNDRY? TAKE SOMEONE ELSE'S!
If you study drunk take the test drunk so you'll remember the answers
You say you want a small government? Move to Somalia
Too many gang shootings in the neighborhood? Find the gangbangers and negotiate between gangs.
during interview ask about drug testing policies
having a hard time keeping that extra wight off? maybe think about using crystal meth.
You know who loves comic sans? Employers
don't get well soon get well meow
Laugh more daily