16,131 shares
Not as forever alone with a pet...
13,748 shares
Asked to be the 6th groomsman in friend's wedding There are 5 bridesmaids
206,457 shares
Forgot to put phone on silent at the movie theater Didn't matter
286,834 shares
Last time i got some ass my fingers went through the toilet paper
247,506 shares
I paid off all my debts Now no one calls me
116,527 shares
wins a trip for two to hawaii goes twice
125,585 shares
received one text all day: Walgreen's reminder to refill anti-depressants
240,304 shares
flipping a coin my best chances of getting head
49,768 shares
Commits crime still not wanted
54,146 shares
finally receives a text "Your verizon bill is now available"
152,587 shares
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