fights communism to defeat its totalitarian system Embraces totalitarian system to secretly spy on citizens in the name of Freedom.
Gains independence from Britain with French help Friends with Britain.
SPENDS A TRILLION+ OVER 11 YEARS TO AVENGE THE DEATHS OF 3,000 PEOPLE LETS 25,000+ OF ITS CITIZENS DIE EACH YEAR FROM LACK HEALTHCARE
Claims to be land of the free spends more money on military and jails than schools and healthcare
GOES TO MOON STARTS ENDLESS WARS AND CAN'T AFFORD TO GO BACK
Destroys Native American Tribes Names Weapons and Aircraft after them
Complains about shitheads like Santorum Allows shitheads like Santorum to get into the position he is in
Calls the Super Bowl a World Championship Forgets to invite world
Puts more of its citizens in prison than any other nation Wants to pass laws that would imprison innocent people on the internet
Complains about piracy and Internet theft Steals the domains of global companies like MegaUpload without due process
Laugh more daily