249,185 shares
Not as forever alone with a pet...
14,315 shares
Asked to be the 6th groomsman in friend's wedding There are 5 bridesmaids
207,143 shares
Forgot to put phone on silent at the movie theater Didn't matter
287,559 shares
Last time i got some ass my fingers went through the toilet paper
248,023 shares
I paid off all my debts Now no one calls me
117,096 shares
wins a trip for two to hawaii goes twice
126,229 shares
received one text all day: Walgreen's reminder to refill anti-depressants
240,824 shares
flipping a coin my best chances of getting head
50,337 shares
Commits crime still not wanted
54,593 shares
finally receives a text "Your verizon bill is now available"
153,060 shares
Laugh more daily
