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You finally grew some facial hair? I won a chest hair contest at the age of 14
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Gets pulled over by a cop lets him off with a warning
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Chuck Norris? You mean the bearded bitch who does my laundry.
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How did I grow such an awesome mustache? I quit being a little girl and grew a goddamn mustache.
Legos? You mean my carpet?
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Salad? It's what food eats to become food
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Instruction manual? You mean the manufacturers opinion
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Pre workout? you mean cigarettes
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What salad do i want with my steak? Another steak
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Spinach? If I want iron, I'll eat iron
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