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Not as forever alone with a pet...
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Asked to be the 6th groomsman in friend's wedding There are 5 bridesmaids
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Forgot to put phone on silent at the movie theater Didn't matter
286,103 shares
Last time i got some ass my fingers went through the toilet paper
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I paid off all my debts Now no one calls me
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wins a trip for two to hawaii goes twice
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received one text all day: Walgreen's reminder to refill anti-depressants
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flipping a coin my best chances of getting head
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Commits crime still not wanted
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finally receives a text "Your verizon bill is now available"
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