435,280 shares
Crossing a one-way street Looks both ways
175,145 shares
Hits snooze on on the alarm clock Spends the next 9 minutes wide awake worrying it accidently turned off
192,994 shares
farts in public when it's cold out checks ass to see if steam came out
170,356 shares
Read about diseases with one in a million prevalence Convinced I have at least six of them
107,051 shares
Slight chest discomfort Better write my will
106,141 shares
3+5? Better use calculator
138,803 shares
Game Auto-Saves Better save it manually just to be sure
in a room full of people and I need to clear my throat better hold it, or they'll think I have something to say
127,422 shares
Effective 99.9% of the time? I don't like those odds
380,016 shares
Thinks something insulting about a stranger Immediately thinks nice things in case they can read minds
253,588 shares
Laugh more daily
