263,890 shares
When I hold your balls It's like I'm holding our children
278,817 shares
My love is like a candle Because If you forget about me I will burn your fucking house to the ground
634,471 shares
While you were at work I made a copy of your apartment key Now I can surprise you whenever i want
43,974 shares
You wouldn't have to wear a condom If you just got me pregnant
84,468 shares
on facebook it says you're interested in women You shouldn't be interested in any woman but me.
230,667 shares
I can't lay close enough to you. I wish I could cut open your chest and sleep inside your carcass.
301,563 shares
I told the gym we're married so we can get a couples rate I'm not lying because I know it's going to happen
385,073 shares
That's what she said? Who is she?
136,399 shares
you put 3 exclamation points after "happy birthday" on your mom's facebook page. I only got 2. am i that less important?
141,137 shares
I think it's so cute the way you keep trying to make your passwords harder
120,665 shares
Laugh more daily
