367,874 shares
I want to push you down the stairs so you break your legs and call in Then i could cuddle you allllll day
141,487 shares
Comes over for sex Takes the condom when she leaves
410,209 shares
Wow, We've been dating for nine months. We could have had a baby by now.
232,448 shares
I'm making you something really nice for your birthday A baby
386,520 shares
IF we ever adopt, it has to be a boy I don't want you losing interest in me
136,591 shares
I tell all my girlfriends you have a tiny penis so none of them will hit on you
343,959 shares
you're not allowed to wear sunglasses because i need to be able to see if you're looking at other girls
816,096 shares
I got you a GPS car tracking device for your birthday so if you ever get lost I can find you
241,537 shares
i know that you were ordering your food but i hate that you were talking to the waitress
197,951 shares
I'm angry because you gave that girl more attention than me. Even if it was medical attention.
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