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Couldn't find my car in the parking lot Because I couldn't remember which one I drove today.
90,904 shares
the 90 inch HD tv i've just bought won't fit in my porsche
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the channel i switch to during commercials is also showing commercials
435,701 shares
I dropped my Macbook On my other Macbook
624,478 shares
I went to the bathroom at work and forgot my phone at my desk
66,757 shares
my vibrator battery died now it's a dildo
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looking in the fridge "the fridge is too full of food to find what I'm looking for"
264,713 shares
Lost my job, got new job same day No time for vacation.
80,171 shares
i'm so hungry but i just brushed my teeth
52,126 shares
I want to take a yoga class but i cant trust my farts
198,238 shares
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