9588 shares
Crossing a one-way street Looks both ways
175,196 shares
Hits snooze on on the alarm clock Spends the next 9 minutes wide awake worrying it accidently turned off
193,060 shares
farts in public when it's cold out checks ass to see if steam came out
170,406 shares
Read about diseases with one in a million prevalence Convinced I have at least six of them
107,082 shares
Slight chest discomfort Better write my will
106,204 shares
3+5? Better use calculator
138,839 shares
Game Auto-Saves Better save it manually just to be sure
435,319 shares
in a room full of people and I need to clear my throat better hold it, or they'll think I have something to say
127,472 shares
Effective 99.9% of the time? I don't like those odds
380,089 shares
Thinks something insulting about a stranger Immediately thinks nice things in case they can read minds
253,669 shares
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