The best advice I can ever give that I wish I followed.

The best advice I can ever give that I wish I followed. - NEVER START SMOKING  Actual Advice Mallard

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If a woman is upset ...

IF A WOMAN IS UPSET HOLD HER, AND TELL HER HOW BEAUTIFUL SHE IS  IF SHE STARTS TO GROWL, RETREAT TO A SAFE DISTANCE AND THROW CHOCOLATE AT HER

Really. Don't.

NEVER TRUST SOMEONE WHO TAKES HOURS TO TEXT YOU BACK  BUT ALWAYS HAS THEIR PHONE IN HAND WHEN YOU'RE WITH THEM

Everyone should start doing this

STOP USING GOOGLE.COM TO SEARCH INFROMATION FOR SCHOOL ESSAYS USE SCHOLAR.GOOGLE.COM INSTEAD, YOU WILL FIND MORE RELEVANT INFORMATION RIGHT AWAY

To the woman at the grocery.

IF YOU DON'T LIKE STRANGERS TELLING YOU HOW TO PARENT  CONTROL YOUR SPAWN IN PUBLIC

Can't stress this enough to my roommates

DON'T KNOCK AND THEN IMMEDIATELY COME INTO MY BEDROOM  WAIT FOR A RESPONSE FIRST

Women can be confusing sometimes

IF SHE SAYS,

This is a huge pet peeve of mine. I'm sure there's many others like me.

IF YOU ARE IN A FRIEND'S CAR  LEAVE EVERYTHING HOW IT IS AND TAKE YOUR TRASH WITH YOU

You aren't sparing their feelings.

IF SOMEONE WANTS TO HANGOUT AND YOU FEEL THE NEED TO MAKE EXCUSES GROW THE F*CK UP AND TELL THE TRUTH.

To the girls who show way too much and wonder why they aren't respected

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DRESS LIKE A SLUT TO BE NOTICED  A LITTLE BIT OF MYSTERY IS SEXY

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