9187 shares
I see you've lost 1 pound this week You should reward yourself by eating whatever you like
171,435 shares
sets alarm for seven Wakes up at 4:00, 5:00 and 6:00 to check the time OVERSLEEPS
255,038 shares
Hey, I think your phone just buzzed in your pocket! just kidding, your phone isn't even in your pocket you fucking moron
344,670 shares
GET A BEAUTIFUL GIRLFRIEND SPEND ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE DOING WRONG INSTEAD OF ENJOYING HER COMPANY
188,621 shares
super bored when you have lots of free time thinks of tons of fun things to do when you have a deadline
362,020 shares
Overslept for work Makes you dream you're already at work so you don't get up.
243,263 shares
Contains vast amount of childhood memories, life experiences, etc... When your girlfriend asks you to tell her a story... Remembers nothing
157,623 shares
I see we still have 30 minutes of sleep until the alarm goes off Better wake you up every 2 minutes to see how much sleep you still have
292,036 shares
oh, the food is too hot for your hand? quick, put it in your mouth
529,258 shares
listens to pandora because you're tired of listening to music on ipod skip every song until you find one you know... from your ipod
103,402 shares
Laugh more daily