"You're so hot"

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Beats his wife to the door so he can open it for her

Beats his wife to the door so he can open it for her

Hand over your car keys You've had one too many drinks

Hand over your car keys You've had one too many drinks

I left my wife and kids a healthy breakfast before I went to the gym

I left my wife and kids a healthy breakfast before I went to the gym

i beat my children everytime we play jenga.

i beat my children everytime we play jenga.

i left my wife and kids presents under the christmas tree

i left my wife and kids presents under the christmas tree

I have never read a book more finely crafted than the great gatsby

I have never read a book more finely crafted than the great gatsby

Give me a blunt Assessment of this quarter's figures

Give me a blunt Assessment of this quarter's figures

baby got back from the hospital today, I couldn't be prouder

baby got back from the hospital today, I couldn't be prouder

I have five kids from five different mothers because i feel adoption is the greatest gift you can give another human being, especially if you have the resources to provide.

I have five kids from five different mothers because i feel adoption is the greatest gift you can give another human being, especially if you have the resources to provide.

I'm going to cut off your face book privileges if you don't do your homework

I'm going to cut off your face book privileges if you don't do your homework
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