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finish morning workout Clear browser history
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Have no clean laundry of his own Take someone else's
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Has an itch in asshole farts to make it go away
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"your hands are so soft!" Oh thanks, i use lotion everyday.
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FOOD STUCK BETWEEN TEETH BITE OFF FINGERNAIL: INSTANT TOOTHPICK
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receive new beard trimmer as gift old trimmer now dedicated for pubes
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Discovers cheese has gone mouldy now it's fancy
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Daylight savings time all clocks in apartment now display the correct time
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Wash your tan sheets Turns out they're white sheets
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Technically not putting on dirty underwear If you never take it off
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