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Couldn't find my car in the parking lot Because I couldn't remember which one I drove today.
90,907 shares
the 90 inch HD tv i've just bought won't fit in my porsche
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the channel i switch to during commercials is also showing commercials
435,726 shares
I dropped my Macbook On my other Macbook
624,520 shares
I went to the bathroom at work and forgot my phone at my desk
66,782 shares
my vibrator battery died now it's a dildo
183,944 shares
looking in the fridge "the fridge is too full of food to find what I'm looking for"
264,724 shares
Lost my job, got new job same day No time for vacation.
80,189 shares
i'm so hungry but i just brushed my teeth
52,139 shares
I want to take a yoga class but i cant trust my farts
198,251 shares
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