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Couldn't find my car in the parking lot Because I couldn't remember which one I drove today.
90,795 shares
the 90 inch HD tv i've just bought won't fit in my porsche
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the channel i switch to during commercials is also showing commercials
435,543 shares
I dropped my Macbook On my other Macbook
624,172 shares
I went to the bathroom at work and forgot my phone at my desk
66,610 shares
my vibrator battery died now it's a dildo
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looking in the fridge "the fridge is too full of food to find what I'm looking for"
264,605 shares
Lost my job, got new job same day No time for vacation.
79,955 shares
i'm so hungry but i just brushed my teeth
51,949 shares
I want to take a yoga class but i cant trust my farts
198,070 shares
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