9192 shares
I said I was leaving him he told me he'd tie a red balloon to me and find me later
331,308 shares
I asked him how we could spice up our sex life he said that he wanted to get to fifth base
17,393 shares
told him i was pregnant with twins he named them first and repost
26,262 shares
Makes "why not zoidberg?" joke calls her a karma whore
27,242 shares
I told him that we were in a book He told me that he knew already because he saw it on Reddit
203,012 shares
he spends $59.95 on groceries at walmart every week the fridge is always empty
633,552 shares
Asked him if he wanted to see the dolphin outside he just murmured something about crafty hurricanes
15,535 shares
i told him i was pregnant he just yelled "the price of children is too damn high!"
20,409 shares
asked him if he wanted to try something new he said: why not Zoidberg?
25,558 shares
I asked him if he wanted some cucumber He said "I know where that's been"
21,081 shares
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