9206 shares
Not as forever alone with a pet...
13,822 shares
Asked to be the 6th groomsman in friend's wedding There are 5 bridesmaids
206,526 shares
Forgot to put phone on silent at the movie theater Didn't matter
286,922 shares
Last time i got some ass my fingers went through the toilet paper
247,562 shares
I paid off all my debts Now no one calls me
116,603 shares
wins a trip for two to hawaii goes twice
125,647 shares
received one text all day: Walgreen's reminder to refill anti-depressants
240,368 shares
flipping a coin my best chances of getting head
49,834 shares
Commits crime still not wanted
54,227 shares
finally receives a text "Your verizon bill is now available"
152,669 shares
Laugh more daily
