Last time I try and eat a healthy snack

Last time I try and eat a healthy snack - STARTS TO CUT OPEN AN AVOCADO KNIFE SLIPS AND STABS HAND AND TENDON Bad Luck Brian

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Finally gets rid of acne at 19 hairline starts receeding 3 months later

Finally gets rid of acne at 19 hairline starts receeding 3 months later

Rubs lamp, gets a wish. "I don't want to die a virgin" Immortality

Rubs lamp, gets a wish.

calls police to complain cars are driving too quickly through his subdivision police set up speed trap and only person they catch is my wife speeding home from work after a bad day

calls police to complain cars are driving too quickly through his subdivision police set up speed trap and only person they catch is my wife speeding home from work after a bad day

Stays up for 40 hours studying for a final Falls asleep and misses exam

Stays up for 40 hours studying for a final Falls asleep and misses exam

Gets a tech job after months unemployed Company closes next day

Gets a tech job after months unemployed Company closes next day

Orders copper engraving of Abraham Lincoln online for $20 gets a penny

Orders copper engraving of Abraham Lincoln online for $20 gets a penny

goes to girlfriend's stand-up comedy show to surprise her is the butt of every joke

goes to girlfriend's
stand-up comedy show to surprise her is the butt of every joke

Finally answers girlfriend's repeated calls at work Only to get broken up with then fired for using a phone on the jobsite

Finally answers girlfriend's repeated calls at work  Only to get broken up with then fired for using a phone on the jobsite

Steps on a nail and jumps to avoid putting more pressure on it. Lands on another nail with his other foot.

Steps on a nail and jumps to avoid putting more pressure on it. Lands on another nail with his other foot.

Beautiful girl asks him to hang a picture for her Drills into the fire sprinkler line and floods the apartment

Beautiful girl asks him to hang a picture for her Drills into the fire sprinkler line and floods the apartment
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