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Roses are red, I'm having a baby. Marry me now, or I'll say that you raped me.
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Is it nice touching what your child will one day drink milk from?
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I save all your voicemails and listen to them every morning
48,012 shares
When I die I want you to die too
195,358 shares
Told my girlfriend we could probably afford a vacation in about a year. Oh, you mean for our honeymoon?
51,208 shares
You should give me a picture of your younger self So i can tell people we have a child
314,785 shares
You say restraining order i say long distance relationship
484,197 shares
Sure you can have "boy's night out" 32 text messages, 45 missed calls, 18 voicemails
274,871 shares
I'm going to learn all your mom's favorite recipes So you'll never need her again
871,382 shares
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