9476 shares
Your steak is too bloody? Give it one of your tampons
296,526 shares
Pour me a glass of whiskey, son i have to take me heart medication.
222,532 shares
The reason I only had one heart attack Was because my heart wasn't such a dumbass to attack me twice
550,248 shares
Im allergic to whiskey It makes my knuckles bleed
363,176 shares
Your mom's out of town this week Today's meal shall be steak with a side of shut the fuck up
208,719 shares
i see you shaved i'm sorry the weight of being a man was too much for you
204,976 shares
It took you 2 trips to take out the garbage? Was your tampon weighing you down?
405,914 shares
tumblr? last time i tumbled was over a pile of bodies in korea
268,292 shares
shot glasses? you mean sippy cups?
277,856 shares
Why do i need to know how to sew? My cuts don't stitch themselves
117,705 shares
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