Get into work today and

Get into work today and - GET INTO WORK TODAY AND THE PHONES ARE DOWN... SCORE!! Success Kid

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Told my boss i've been getting slightly overpaid for the last 2 months upped my salary by 3K a year

Told my boss i've been getting slightly overpaid for the last 2 months upped my salary by 3K a year

Ordered mexican takeout and jokingly asked if they made margaritas to go Got two margaritas to go

Ordered mexican takeout and jokingly asked if they made margaritas to go Got two margaritas to go

See a great ass on a woman who is bent over, when she stands up, i see that it is my wife

See a great ass on a woman who is bent over, when she stands up, i see that it is my wife

Decide to strike up conversation with old man sitting all by himself at the bar At the end of the night, "By the way I'm the owner , all your drinks tonight are on the house"

Decide to strike up conversation with old man sitting all by himself at the bar At the end of the night,

Halfway to weight loss goal Boobs stick out further than stomach

Halfway to weight loss goal Boobs stick out further than stomach

Signed up for an engineering course the professor speaks fluent English

Signed up for an engineering course  the professor speaks fluent English

Cable guy supposed to be here between 8 and 12 Here at 8:01

Cable guy supposed to be here between 8 and 12 Here at 8:01

Had a dream i was peeing Didn't wet the bed

Had a dream i was peeing Didn't wet the bed

Made it through work today with more than 20% battery life

Made it through work today with more than 20% battery life

Played a group of teenage boys on xbox live None of them banged my mom

Played a group of teenage boys on xbox live None of them banged my mom
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