Get into work today and

Get into work today and - GET INTO WORK TODAY AND THE PHONES ARE DOWN... SCORE!! Success Kid

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Got glasses to correct vision Girlfriend got better looking instead of uglier

Got glasses to correct vision Girlfriend got better looking instead of uglier

I've been married to a vegetarian for 4 years She cooks meat for me

I've been married to a  vegetarian for 4 years She cooks meat for me

been dating a vegitarian for 18 months still eat whatever the fuck i want

been dating a vegitarian for 18 months still eat whatever the fuck i want

completely forgot and left laptop on top of car still there when i got home

completely forgot and left laptop on top of car still there when i got home

GF breaks up with me 2 days before leaving on a vacation to Europe the airline feels bad for me, refunds me her ticket

GF breaks up with me 2 days before leaving on a vacation to Europe the airline feels bad for me, refunds me her ticket

Got a cute girl's number she texts in complete, articulate sentences

Got a cute girl's number she texts in complete, articulate sentences

Driving home from work after a 12 hour shift every traffic light is green

Driving home from work after a 12 hour shift every traffic light is green

Broke up with ex-girlfriend a year ago still pays me back the money she owes me, today

Broke up with ex-girlfriend a year ago still pays me back the money she owes me, today

Bought $3 bag of pesos at yard sale worth $160

Bought $3 bag of pesos at yard sale worth $160

Got drunk alone on Valentine's day Didn't call ex girlfriend

Got drunk alone on Valentine's day Didn't call ex girlfriend
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