75,352 shares
I see you've lost 1 pound this week You should reward yourself by eating whatever you like
171,581 shares
sets alarm for seven Wakes up at 4:00, 5:00 and 6:00 to check the time OVERSLEEPS
255,173 shares
Hey, I think your phone just buzzed in your pocket! just kidding, your phone isn't even in your pocket you fucking moron
344,898 shares
GET A BEAUTIFUL GIRLFRIEND SPEND ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE DOING WRONG INSTEAD OF ENJOYING HER COMPANY
188,767 shares
super bored when you have lots of free time thinks of tons of fun things to do when you have a deadline
362,228 shares
Overslept for work Makes you dream you're already at work so you don't get up.
243,450 shares
Contains vast amount of childhood memories, life experiences, etc... When your girlfriend asks you to tell her a story... Remembers nothing
157,761 shares
I see we still have 30 minutes of sleep until the alarm goes off Better wake you up every 2 minutes to see how much sleep you still have
292,189 shares
oh, the food is too hot for your hand? quick, put it in your mouth
529,482 shares
listens to pandora because you're tired of listening to music on ipod skip every song until you find one you know... from your ipod
103,577 shares
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