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Jokingly asked new girlfriend to make me a sandwich after sex She asked me what I wanted on it and made it

Jokingly asked new girlfriend to make me a sandwich after sex She asked me what I wanted on it and made it Success Kid
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108,060 shares

Why did the sea lion go to the Tupperware party? He was looking for a tight seal.

Why did the sea lion go to the Tupperware party? He was looking for a tight seal. Sea Lion Brian
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49,900 shares

I'm a really fast walker And everyone else isn't

I'm a really fast walker And everyone else isn't First World Problems
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559,631 shares

If you need to rush somewhere, carry a fire extinguisher. No one will stop a guy running with a fire extinguisher.

If you need to rush somewhere, carry a fire extinguisher. No one will stop a guy running with a fire extinguisher. Actual Advice Mallard
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392,083 shares

gets mad while playing video games throws your controller

gets mad while playing video games throws your controller Scumbag Steve
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174,882 shares

If the girl/guy you like doesn't text you back keep texting them until they do, they'll admire your perseverance

If the girl/guy you like doesn't text you back keep texting them until they do, they'll admire your perseverance Malicious Advice Mallard
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181,163 shares

If you preface any insult with "no offense" you can say as many hurtful things as you want

If you preface any insult with
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270,420 shares

oh, the food is too hot for your hand? quick, put it in your mouth

oh, the food is too hot for your hand? quick, put it in your mouth Scumbag Brain
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529,602 shares

Trying to figure out where to take your girl for valentines day dinner? chicks love hooters

Trying to figure out where to take your girl for valentines day dinner? chicks love hooters Malicious Advice Mallard
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51,448 shares

Didn't feel like attending Monday class Teacher didn't either

Didn't feel like attending Monday class Teacher didn't either Success Kid
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310,176 shares