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Hey, you know that girl you're trying to forget about? Well here's a long vivid dream about her.

Hey, you know that girl you're trying to forget about? Well here's a long vivid dream about her. Scumbag Brain
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50,421 shares

Hey, you know that song you don't like? Let me play it to you over and over again

Hey, you know that song you don't like? Let me play it to you over and over again Scumbag Brain
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52,990 shares

eats cookie dough actually gets salmonella

eats cookie dough actually gets salmonella Bad Luck Brian
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84,796 shares

I just finished cutting up a pound of assorted cheeses for my dinner party

I just finished cutting up a pound of assorted cheeses for my dinner party Successful Black Man
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136,623 shares

pokes holes in friends' condoms Mom gets pregnant

pokes holes in friends' condoms Mom gets pregnant Bad Luck Brian
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276,192 shares

50 shades of grey being a bestseller is like a brazzers movie topping the box ofice

50 shades of grey being a bestseller is like a brazzers movie topping the box ofice Sudden Clarity Clarence
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68,399 shares

friend asks if you want to grab some lunch they offer to pay

friend asks if you want to grab some lunch they offer to pay Success Kid
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110,781 shares

I don't always get my hair cut short but when i do i vastly overuse shampoo the next day

I don't always get my hair cut short but when i do i vastly overuse shampoo the next day The Most Interesting Man In The World
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191,192 shares

Smokes in the car Kids in back, windows closed

Smokes in the car Kids in back, windows closed Scumbag Steve
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188,195 shares

flashes boyfriend when he walks into room doesn't realize he has friends over

flashes boyfriend when he walks into room doesn't realize he has friends over Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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40,067 shares