I don't always try to synchronize the microwave clock with the oven clock but when i do, it's the longest minute of all time

I don't always try to synchronize the microwave clock with the oven clock but when i do, it's the longest minute of all time  The Most Interesting Man In The World

I bought the cd because I liked the single The rest of the album is crap

I bought the cd because I liked the single The rest of the album is crap  1990s Problems

Your owner made you shake hands and didn't give you a treat? Breach of contract, gross violation of the paw

Your owner made you shake hands and didn't give you a treat? Breach of contract, gross violation of the paw  Lawyer Dog

The genre "metal" is called metal Because its harder than rock

The genre

i haven't eaten all day breakfast doesn't count coz i threw it up on the rug

i haven't eaten all day breakfast doesn't count coz i threw it up on the rug  First World Problems Cat

remembers everything about everyone I meet pretends not to, so I don't look like a stalker

remembers everything about everyone I meet pretends not to, so I don't look like a stalker  Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

My TV guide didn't come this month so i don't know what's on tv right now

My TV guide didn't come this month so i don't know what's on tv right now  1990s Problems

tell that tooth fairy she better pay me or she'll find a surprise under her pillow

tell that tooth fairy she better pay me or she'll find a surprise under her pillow   Baby Godfather

You mean to tell me that the poorest people in your country are also the fattest?

You mean to tell me that the poorest people in your country are also the fattest?  Skeptical Third World Kid

Makes fun of hipsters "I knew memes before people used them on facebook!"

Makes fun of hipsters