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Parker, you know my favorite brand of rice? no, what? Uncle Ben's.

Parker, you know my favorite brand of rice? no, what? Uncle Ben's. JJ Jameson
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107,709 shares

Drink bottle of red wine health conscious

Drink bottle of red wine health conscious Foul Bachelor Frog
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19,732 shares

Has drunk sex with best female friend still talks to her next day

Has drunk sex with best female friend still talks to her next day Good Guy Greg
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12,787 shares

barely knows you "You would."

barely knows you
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17,991 shares

Caught in an earthquake Stays perfectly still

Caught in an earthquake Stays perfectly still Awesome Michael J Fox
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25,434 shares

I love the look on your face as your eyes adjust to the dark...

I love the look on your face as your eyes adjust to the dark... Horrifying Houseguest
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24,202 shares

"hey, brah, let me just show you this objective reality for a second" shows you subjective reality
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17,936 shares

Therapist: Tell me the biggest thing you accomplished this week. Me: I made it to the front page of reddit! Therapist: What's reddit? Me: The thing preventing me from accomplishing anything else.

Therapist: Tell me the biggest thing you accomplished this week. Me: I made it to the front page of reddit! Therapist: What's reddit? Me: The thing preventing me from accomplishing anything else. Socially Awkward Penguin
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14,262 shares

Spent $300 on textbooks 3 months ago? Best I can do is $20

Spent $300 on textbooks 3 months ago? Best I can do is $20 Pawn Star
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15,720 shares

ICE COLD WATER? FALSE. IF IT WAS AS COLD AS ICE, IT WOULD BE ICE.

ICE COLD WATER? FALSE. IF IT WAS AS COLD AS ICE, IT WOULD BE ICE. Schrute
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24,272 shares