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take shower constantly check corners of the ceiling for spiders

take shower constantly check corners of the ceiling for spiders Paranoid Parrot
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13,390 shares

The attention from your Facebook Status updates Must do wonders for your self-esteem

The attention from your Facebook Status updates Must do wonders for your self-esteem Condescending Fox
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27,334 shares

Do something nice for a girl Think she's obligated to have sex with you

Do something nice for a girl Think she's obligated to have sex with you Scumbag Steve
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18,962 shares

If life is so short... why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

If life is so short... why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? Philosoraptor
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11,871 shares

Parachute won't open good thing I have an extra condom

Parachute won't open good thing I have an extra condom Courage Wolf
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37,225 shares

I'll huff and I'll puff and then I'll fuck you in the ass

I'll huff and I'll puff and then I'll fuck you in the ass Insanity Wolf
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60,361 shares

Guns have a five day waiting period fuck that shit

Guns have a five day waiting period fuck that shit Crazy Fireworks Nerd
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8,676 shares

Rule #1 of dating Get her attention...

Rule #1 of dating Get her attention... Crazy Fireworks Nerd
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11,252 shares

class time is for random discussions the book is your actual professor

class time is for random discussions the book is your actual professor Engineering Professor
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30,366 shares

Spend entire weekend making her feel better So that she can patch things up with boyfriend

Spend entire weekend making her feel better So that she can patch things up with boyfriend Forever Alone
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7,459 shares