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I don't always try to synchronize the microwave clock with the oven clock but when i do, it's the longest minute of all time

I don't always try to synchronize the microwave clock with the oven clock but when i do, it's the longest minute of all time The Most Interesting Man In The World
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46,902 shares

I bought the cd because I liked the single The rest of the album is crap

I bought the cd because I liked the single The rest of the album is crap 1990s Problems
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164,409 shares

Your owner made you shake hands and didn't give you a treat? Breach of contract, gross violation of the paw

Your owner made you shake hands and didn't give you a treat? Breach of contract, gross violation of the paw Lawyer Dog
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153,279 shares

The genre "metal" is called metal Because its harder than rock

The genre
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223,367 shares

i haven't eaten all day breakfast doesn't count coz i threw it up on the rug

i haven't eaten all day breakfast doesn't count coz i threw it up on the rug First World Problems Cat
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201,673 shares

remembers everything about everyone I meet pretends not to, so I don't look like a stalker

remembers everything about everyone I meet pretends not to, so I don't look like a stalker Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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280,673 shares

My TV guide didn't come this month so i don't know what's on tv right now

My TV guide didn't come this month so i don't know what's on tv right now 1990s Problems
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598,281 shares

tell that tooth fairy she better pay me or she'll find a surprise under her pillow

tell that tooth fairy she better pay me or she'll find a surprise under her pillow Baby Godfather
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52,270 shares

You mean to tell me that the poorest people in your country are also the fattest?

You mean to tell me that the poorest people in your country are also the fattest? Skeptical Third World Kid
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78,428 shares

Makes fun of hipsters "I knew memes before people used them on facebook!"

Makes fun of hipsters
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69,609 shares