The roundest knight at King Arthur’s table was Sir Cumference He acquired his size from too much pi

The roundest knight at King Arthur’s table was Sir Cumference He acquired his size from too much pi  Lame Pun Coon

Home alone still closes and locks the bathroom door

Home alone still closes and locks the bathroom door  Paranoid Parrot

One of these delicious nachos just stabbed me in the roof of my mouth

One of these delicious nachos just stabbed me in the roof of my mouth  First World Problems

Walk past ex at favorite bar Fat.

Walk past ex at favorite bar Fat.  Success Kid

Gets invited to meet girlfriend's dad Chris Hansen

Gets invited to meet girlfriend's dad Chris Hansen  Bad Luck Brian

Friend talks to someone You don't know Just stand there in silence

Friend talks to someone
You don't know Just stand there in silence  Socially Awkward Penguin

Takes Benadryl for allergies Dies from Allergic Reaction to Benadryl

Takes Benadryl for allergies Dies from Allergic Reaction to Benadryl  Bad Luck Brian

I know the prosecutor personally; He's all bark and no bite.

I know the prosecutor personally; He's all bark and no bite.  Lawyer Dog

Accidentally dials wrong number Doesn't speak, waits for other person to hang up.

Accidentally dials wrong number Doesn't speak, waits for other person to hang up.  Socially Awkward Penguin

You're embarrassed? Don't worry, I'll make your face bright red

You're embarrassed? Don't worry, I'll make your face bright red   Scumbag Brain