They didn't listen to my clarinet recital... I didn't listen to their cries for mercy.

They didn't listen to my clarinet recital...
 
 I didn't listen to their cries for mercy.  PTSD Clarinet Boy

eats a jawbreaker breaks jaw

eats a jawbreaker breaks jaw  Bad Luck Brian

Comes over and Clogs your toilet leaves without telling you

Comes over and Clogs your toilet leaves without telling you  Scumbag Steve

Removes tag from mattress life in prison

Removes tag from mattress life in prison  Bad Luck Brian

Won senior with the best smile All 4 years of high school

Won senior with the best smile All 4 years of high school  Ridiculously photogenic guy

Grime inside the toilet bowl pee extra hard to clean it off

Grime inside the toilet bowl pee extra hard to clean it off  Foul Bachelor Frog

finds fountain of youth drowns in it

finds fountain of youth drowns in it  Bad Luck Brian

If humans are meant to have an immortal afterlife then why does human nature dictate survival at all costs?

If humans are meant to have an immortal afterlife then why does human nature dictate survival at all costs?  Philosoraptor

SENDS YOU TO HELL FOR ABORTING YOUR CHILD KILLS HIS ONLY SON

SENDS YOU TO HELL FOR ABORTING YOUR CHILD KILLS HIS ONLY SON  Advice God

Sells his sperm online Millionaire

Sells his sperm online Millionaire  Ridiculously photogenic guy