"Yeah can I just get a cup for water?" fills with soda

Woke up too early to order pizza

Woke up too early to order pizza  First World Problems

i don't use the metric system it's too cliche

i don't use the metric system it's too cliche  Hipster Barista

You mean that one day I will have to stop playing to take a shit?

You mean that one day I will have to stop playing  to take a shit?  skeptical baby

I love my new measuring tape It rules

I love my new measuring tape It rules  Lame Pun Coon

What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison

What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison  Bad Joke Eel

Offers to split the last doughnut AS he touches all of the doughnut

Offers to split the last doughnut AS he touches all of the doughnut  Scumbag Steve

SAYS YOU WON'T MAKE IT IN THE REAL WORLD. HAS BEEN IN SCHOOL HER WHOLE LIFE.

SAYS YOU WON'T MAKE IT IN THE REAL WORLD. HAS BEEN IN SCHOOL HER WHOLE LIFE.  Unhelpful High School Teacher

Need to use calculator clear clear clear clear clear clear clear

Need to use calculator clear clear clear clear clear clear clear  Paranoid Parrot

Introduce him to The daily Show New Major: Political Science

Introduce him to The daily Show New Major: Political Science  College Freshman