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Leave the store without buying anything "Act natural, you're innocent."

Leave the store without buying anything
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194,995 shares

He said he'd do me like he does his homework He stopped after 5 minutes and started browsing reddit

He said he'd do me like he does his homework He stopped after 5 minutes and started browsing reddit Redditors Wife
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140,779 shares

Do I want to come in for coffee? But it's 3am, I'll be up all night

Do I want to come in for coffee? But it's 3am, I'll be up all night Sexually Oblivious Rhino
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42,160 shares

head hurts? cancer

head hurts? cancer Scumbag WebMD
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53,306 shares

Why don't we take the needy pets who will be killed from that one commercial and send them to those hungry kids who will die in that other commercial?

Why don't we take the needy pets who will be killed from that one commercial and send them to those hungry kids who will die in that other commercial? Push it somewhere else Patrick
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114,574 shares

so i stood up and told that teachin' lady the only 3 letters I need to know are U, S, and A

so i stood up and told that teachin' lady the only 3 letters I need to know are U, S, and A Redneck Randal
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54,093 shares

Sees you driven' 'round town with the girl he loves and he's like "It's cool. you asked her out first."

Sees you driven' 'round town with the girl he loves and he's like
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38,312 shares

"I remember 2011 like it was yesterday lolz!" Thinks status is completely original
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67,588 shares

Cuts a massive slice of cake only eats icing

Cuts a massive slice of cake only eats icing Scumbag Steve
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19,561 shares

What do i have against blacks or mexicans? my shotgun

What do i have against blacks or mexicans? my shotgun Redneck Randal
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55,252 shares