I have never read a book more finely crafted than the great gatsby

I have never read a book more finely crafted than the great gatsby  Successful Black Man

You pulled an all-nighter finishing a paper? You must be so sleep deprived.

You pulled an all-nighter finishing a paper? You must be so sleep deprived.  Creepy Wonka

Takes Credit for all the presents your parents buy

Takes Credit for all the presents your parents buy  Scumbag Santa

My friend called shotgun before I did

My friend called shotgun before I did  First World Problems

Has indigestion "HEart attack!"

Has indigestion

girl's boob brushes against shoulder boner for 3 1/2 hours

girl's boob brushes against shoulder boner for 3 1/2 hours  Socially Awkward Penguin

Give me a blunt Assessment of this quarter's figures

Give me a blunt Assessment of this quarter's figures  Successful Black Man

Enjoys the view of Africa As he flies over it

Enjoys the view of Africa As he flies over it  Scumbag Santa

i can never pay attention when i watch movies because i'm always on the internet

i can never pay attention when i watch movies because i'm always on the internet  First World Problems

you wear c-cup? why not a-cup?!

you wear c-cup? why not a-cup?!  High Expectations Asian Father