Not as forever alone with a pet...
Asked to be the 6th groomsman in friend's wedding There are 5 bridesmaids
Forgot to put phone on silent at the movie theater Didn't matter
Last time i got some ass my fingers went through the toilet paper
I paid off all my debts Now no one calls me
wins a trip for two to hawaii goes twice
received one text all day: Walgreen's reminder to refill anti-depressants
flipping a coin my best chances of getting head
Commits crime still not wanted
finally receives a text "Your verizon bill is now available"
Laugh more daily