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want your computer to run triple the speed? delete system32
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girl you like not talking to you anymore? send her a dick pic. Thats bound to get the conversation started.
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having a problem with someone in your life? post a passive-aggressive meme. that should fix everything.
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During an interview Ask how strict their sexual harassment policy is
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If you want to see a woman's breasts Just ask. Most women appreciate the direct approach.
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Frying up Bacon? take your shirt off so you don't get grease on it
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Awkward boner in public? Massage it. It'll relax the muscles and make it go away
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If you are having trouble meeting people at parties pick up smoking. It is a great way to get away from the party and talk in a more intimate setting
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Wait until the last day to start working on your paper That way you won't be able to procrastinate
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Never hit a woman too hard. she could black out and forget the lesson.
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